Returning....

These are the friends I hang out with in Germany and in Dallas. They are not all of my friends, but they tend to be those I do the most with. I'm looking forward to seeing and spending time with them. And of course, getting back to my "boy" Remington, by soon to be four year old Weimeraner!


Troy, Alberto, me, Vincenzo and Joachim


Billy, Burt, Jim, Armando and Cliff


Remington!

Men and their Machines

Marines back from patrol or convoy.


E.O.D. Truck (Explosive Ordiance Device). My favorite!


Me in front of an IED tractor detector between a Baby and Daddy Buffalo!

Pics on and around Liberty

One of the new vehicles used to patrol in Iraq. It is called the BUFFALO.



PX Parking lot, 3 Humvee's waiting for their soldiers to return from shopping in the PX.


Sunset at Lake Liberty...you can find beauty even here!

Pics from Liberty

Here are some pics from places and things I've seen since I've been here. I hope you enjoy.



Returning from getting Pizza and shopping at the PX (see the fishing pole!)


STOP! for all tanks....


The end of the day at Camp Liberty.

Falcon or Phoenix

Last Tuesday night and Wednesday morning was a bit scary. It was about 10:30 pm when I was waken by a thunderous sound that shook my trailer. A mortar round I thought to myself. Seconds later another "BOOM!", much closer...then another...and another....I counted 15 BOOMS before I could not count fast enough. Fear ran through my body. My mind was racing, thinking, knowing that it has finally happened, they've run the gate and they are coming through. That is what it felt like. I finally had enough nerve to open my door to see what I could see. It is almost midnight. There is a big glow in the distant sky south of us. More BOOMS! It is hard to tell where it is. It looks like it is coming from the Slayer gate. This gate is right off Road Irish that runs from Baghdad International Airport into central Baghdad. I'm nervous and imagining the worst. I can't sleep and turn on the TV to see if any of the US news agencies have anything. FOX news is reporting that the ammo depot at Falcon is exploding. It is 1:30 a.m. I'm relieved in one way and concerned about the folks at Falcon. We do have a PX there and the Team Leader was at Liberty Tuesday morning talking to us before she returned to Falcon. I know she is there and I pray that her and everyone else at Falcon are safe.

The next day all talk was about explosions that night. We confirm no one was injured but there is quite a bit of damage to several buildings. We often speak of complacency in the war zone. We get used to hearing the mortars come in and the machine guns ratatatatting just outside the walls of Liberty. We begin to ignore the "BIG VOICE" when it sounds because the reality is you cannot understand a word that is being broadcast. We leave our flak jackets and Kevlar helmets in our rooms, we get upset when the guards at the DFAC or Gym change their routine and we have to be searched. We get comfortable and forget that a raging war is just outside the relative safety of these brick walls. We have to wait for an incident like that at Falcon to wake us from our complacency, if only for a day.

It is an interesting view of how some of us live life. We go through our days, weeks, months and years shutting out the chaos that surrounds us. If we focused on the chaos we would become overwhelmed and depressed at the state of our city, states, country and world. Our survival, mental and emotional, often depend on our ability to shut out the madness and focus on our small piece of life. We feel if we can control that small piece we can survive. Our struggle is to maintain that balance and take small steps forward if we can. We are not always successful and our house of cards can come crashing down around us. The balance is lost for a time. Resiliency is ours though, and we fight to gain back the balance.

During my time in Iraq this year, much of what I have experienced and felt has been somber if not downright depressing. It is different from last year when despite the war, I found many positive things, especially within my self. It is not that there have not been positive insights or experiences this year. It has just been different. It is in that difference I am discovering the jewel in the rough. It took the fire at Falcon for me to understand that discovery and see the jewel through the smoke and fire. It is the rebirth of the Phoenix through fire. This symbolism is significant, as it is fire through which we are tested and made stronger. It is the gathering up of our ashes and understanding that there is nowhere to go but up and forward. We each have trials and tribulations, our fires, that we must go through. Yet there is a renewing spirit in the ashes of our fire experience. Many of us come out understanding what is truly important in our lives. Similar to the great Japanese Swords of the 13th century, we come out with layers of experience that are hammered and heated into a tool that prepares us to defend ourselves, but with a heart that knows we are connected to each other and offers those layers of experience to help others learn their way. It gives us an opportunity to offer hope for those who have yet to experience the rebirthing power of their own Phoenix.

Life brings us many things. Each of those things is an opportunity for us to gather information and form it into a tool that we can use. I wonder what kind of tool will be formed from my life experiences. More importantly I wonder how I will use that tool.

The Legend of the Phoenix
The bird proudly willing to burn,
So that he may live again,
Chooses the flames of fires
That burn the aged Phoenix
The nature stands still
Till a new young bird starts again,
and begins the legend of the Phoenix.

- Claudian (Roman author)

Japanese Sword Making: (from Victorian.fortunecity.com)

"...to produce their best blades the Japanese sword makers used a much more intricate process. For the core, or interior, of the blade, they used a comparatively soft, laminated metal that would resist breaking. The blade's exterior and edge, however, were made of different grades of hard steel welded together in a sandwich that was folded and hammered out as many as 20 times or more, giving it more than a million laminations! This outer "skin" of steel could be made even harder by first heating the sword and then suddenly cooling it. As a final step the master swordsmith would cover the roughly finished blade with a thick layer of adhesive material, mostly clay, leaving only the edge exposed, and heat the blade until the glowing metal reached the right shade of color. The best way to judge this crucially delicate stage was to work in a darkened room. Then with prayer, the sword maker would plunge the heated blade into water. The exposed edge cooled instantly while the rest of the blade, protected by the clay, cooled slowly and remained comparatively soft. The final result was a sword blade of soft non-brittle metal enclosed in a thin layer of hard steel. About one fifth of an inch of its edge was made of metal so hard that it held a razor sharpness during repeated use in battle. "


We choose to make our experiences tools or weapons. Which do you choose?

Robert

A Soldier....

Here is a picture I found that was taken earlier this year. A few of us were walking to the DFAC when we stopped to talk to this soldier. He was staying with his vehicle while his buddies were in the PX shopping. He is a 19 year old from Guam. We stayed talking for sometime. He told us that he was not doing what he was trained to do. He is a refueler and works vehicle maintenance. But they need everyone out on patrols. The Striker vehicle he rides in had been hit three times with him in the Turret. He said it is scary as hell, but you just keep going and keep praying. He's hoping to go to college after he finishes his tour. He wants to go back and live in Guam. I hope he survives this war and is able to do all the things he wants.

As we left he said, "Thanks for being here, we really do appreciate it". Those words from a soldier, especially this one, bring on a surge of emotion. It is why we are here.

Robert

QBLOG #46 Seeing is Believing

Through the avalanche of news stories surrounding world events, elections, sports and negative news in general, a ray of light peeked through. It was the Amish community's response to the murder of several young girls in their community. Instead of reacting in anger and condemnation, they acted with forgiveness and compassion. Though this terrible act struck at the core of what we and they treasure most, our children, they did the thing that most of us wish we could do. They forgave the perpetrator and had compassion for the wife and children left behind. They asked that a fund be set up for his family.

I can't help but wonder what things would be like if we had expressed more of that behaviour as a nation. There is a lesson to be learned. One that has been taught over and over again throughout the centuries. Anger begets anger. War begets war. Forgiveness, though often times seen as weak, is often the most difficult thing to do. It does not have the emotional burst or display of anger. It does not cause a stirring in the stomach of vengence and all the hyperbole that surrounds that. Instead it is quiet, painful and in the end results in a healing power and energy.

Forgiveness does not mean that you are not angry. It does not mean that you don't want to strike out and hurt those that hurt you. It does mean that it takes much more courage and forthrightness to come to terms with the anger and move beyond the base instinct of vengence and uphold ourselves to a higher standard. It is not easy. It is powerful and this Amish community has shown the world the incredible power of forgiveness. Seeing is believing...but even more than this, they believe in forgiveness and practice it. We could all learn a lessong from this simple, powerful act.

Robert

QBLOG #45 Thirteen (13)

I woke this morning to an incredible full moon just overhead. It's light gave just enough visibility to enhance the view of the camp. Many thoughts have been swimming in my head dealing with religion, politics, right, wrong and how easy it is to take away focus from more important things by something salacious to feed our apparant appetite for such things.

And during this whole thought process the number 13 kept popping up. From that an absolute rush of emotion and thought and words came splashing down on me. 1 and 3 is the trinity, but together we make them a superstition that attaches negativity. 12 and 1, Apostles and Christ make 13, and yet we make the number something we almost detest. The reality? It is just a number. We attach meaning. We have a nack for making something neutral, something bad or good, and something bad , we may attach good. Or something that is good, we can give a meaning of bad.

This week the news focused on Mark Foley's resignation and his email to young pages. Salacious. Also during this week Iran thumbed it's nose at the European Union, the Dow reached an all time high and North Korea is moving forward with its threat to test a nuclear weapon. We had the highest number of soldiers killed in any week since the Iraq war began. This is news, but it was trumped by the Mark Foley "story". That is not to say that what he did was not wrong or not important. But it should not have trumped "the rest of the story" as Paul Harvey used to say.

What is the rest of the story? It is about the number 13 in so many ways . It is about how our view of it can distract us from where focus could or should be instead. No event happens in seclusion. There is always a build up, a history, to any event. Our knowledge or lack of can determine how we view the event.

An example is how some view our history with the American Indians and see the Indians as savages. There is a song in the movie "Pocahontas" where both the natives and European settlers are preparing for war and naming each other savages. It is always the victor that writes history. The victor does not necessarily mean the "good" side. It certainly wasn't the good side for the Indians who were native to the land we now call USA.

SAVAGES, from the movie, "POCAHONTAS

[Ratcliffe]
What can you expect / From filthy little heathens? / Their whole disgusting race is like a curse
Their skin's a hellish red / They're only good when dead / They're vermin, as I said / And worse

[English Settlers]
They're savages! Savages!

[Ratcliffe]
Barely even human

[English Settlers]
Savages! Savages!

[Ratcliffe]
Drive them from our shore! /They're not like you and me / Which means they must be evil /We must sound the drums of war!

[English Settlers]
They're savages! Savages! /Dirty redskin devils! /Now we sound the drums of war!

[Powhatan]
This is what we feared / The paleface is a demon / The only thing they feel at all is greed

[Kekata]
Beneath that milky hide / There's emptiness inside

[Native Americans]
I wonder if they even bleed /They're savages! Savages! / Barely even human / Savages! Savages!

[Powhatan]
Killers at the core

[Kekata]
They're different from us / Which means they can't be trusted

[Powhatan]
We must sound the drums of war

[Native Americans]
They're savages! Savages! / First we deal with this one

[All]
Then we sound the drums of war

[English Settlers]
Savages! Savages!

[Ben]
Let's go kill a few, men!

[Native Americans]
Savages! Savages!

[Ratcliffe]
Now it's up to you, men!

[All]
Savages! Savages!
Barely even human!
Now we sound the drums of war!

The middle east is another arena in which we often see only our side...the "good" side. Go back to 1953 and the Coup d'etat in Iran that was sponsored by the U.S. This US sponsored coup ousted the last democratically oriented government in Iran and replaced it with a dictatorship that suppressed all forms of popular political activity. American interests were at stake (oil) and the government of Iran during this time was not siding with America . So America sponsored and helped overthrow that government and put in place a Shah of their choosing. Today when we speak of bringing democracy to the middle east, most here are wary of what "democracy" means out of the mouths of us Americans. They wonder will that "democracy" benefit the people living in that country (Iraq) or will it benefit only those living in the United States?

In the fight between Afghanistan and Russia the US quietly funded someone who would come back to haunt us. Osama Bin Laden. This war lasted over 10 years and ended only when Russia pulled their troops out. U.S. support of Bin Laden was not a well known fact in most US households, but it was well known amoung those fighting that war. Americans are still wondering why people in the Middle East are angry at us. We fight wars on soil that is not our own where families who are not American see their children, siblings, parents and spouses die , some at the hands of American's, some at the hands of those America funds/supports. We wonder why they want to bring that same terror and horror to our own blessed soil in America?

How many times has this president stated that we would rather fight the war on terror in someone elses back yard than fighting it in our own? We agree and we feel safe, and then we wonder why some in the world are angry at us.

It's the number 13. We see it in a way that best benefits our position, our feeling comfortable. We simply forget there is another part of that story, a different view, a different history, a different set of circumstances that if we took the time to understand completely, we might better understand the number and our relation to it.

12 apostles + 1 Christ = 13. 1 God is 3 Spirits, the equation of the Trinity...and so many other ways we can view that number....and the world...

We each have our journey. It is only when we walk in the shoes of someone else that we can truly move forward.

Robert



'

One God

There is one God,
or so they tell me,
but I don't believe it
because of the way they act the way they say
...."in God's name!"

Cry's of war
Shout's of pain
which they all claim, "God is on my side!"
...a cause for war...
wars that make me ashamed for this humanity.

There must be a God
for each religion
as they invoke Him
one against the other...

There is one God?
I can't believe
For God as I believe
would never be part of what I see

Belief, Belief, Belief
each of us has one
some try to make all of us
believe what they believe

Right or wrong?
in who's mind?
in who's belief?
Not in the God that I believe

No war.
No prejudice
No judgment
No misery

Peace and
Love and
Justice and
Harmony.

No religion to
make me feel guilty
Just that little voice inside
that free's me, that liberates me.

Keep your religion,
your god, your diety,
just let me have my one God
of Peace and Harmony.


Robert L. Quintana
6 Oct 06
Baghdad, IRAQ

Pied Piper

Last night was a farewell BBQ for Lynn Hansen, our Sales & Mdse manager at Liberty. Lynn was a Visual Merchandiser and decided he wanted to give his hand a try at regular retail. He did an incredible job, especially given the circumstances and environment in which we work. He will be missed, and mostly by the people with whom he worked.

During the festivities last night, several of our Indian and Bosnian employees were talking and sharing some of the things of how they would remember Lynn. Some were funny and some were emotional. At one point one of the Indians took the stage and played a dedication to Lynn on his wood flute. Soon all the talking and making of noise ceased and we sat mesmerized by the beautiful melody from this man and his flute. It reminded me of the story of hte Pied Piper. This gentle man playing this soothing music capturing our attention by it's simiple notes. No one had to tell us to stop the noise or to stop talking, but soon everything was quiet, except for the sound of the flute.

Music is such an important part of my life and I am in constant admiration of those who possess the gift of music, be it vocally, instrumentally or in writing music. There is certainly more than talent in music, I believe it to be a blessing, a gift and somehow a way in which to heal and soothe...as was this man and his flute. I wondered what would happen if we all simply played the flute and allowed our emotions to be soothed over. Maybe peace? Probably to big of a dream to hope for. But it is my dream and I'll continue to dream it.

R