For Everything There Is A Season

My second tour of duty in Baghdad, Iraq has come to a close. Many friends and family still wonder why I chose to return to Iraq earlier this year. Certainly I wondered what was going on in my head. I was looking in the wrong place. My head and thoughts are not what drove me to return. It was something deeper with in me that I am not sure I have the words to adequately define. Prior to leaving, the best way I could sum up the decision was as a search for a missing piece of a greater puzzle.

This experience was much different from my first. I was not running away. I was indeed more concerned if not fearful. Emotionally I was simply in a different place. I felt like still water waiting to be moved, but fearful of it. Change of any sort usually makes us unsure of which way to move or whether to move at all.

A picture is most clear when the contrast is greatest. You know when Spring has arrived by the contrast between the barren trees and ground and the budding of the same. You know that summer has ended when the glorious greens turn multi color and flowers turn brown. The violence in Iraq was much greater this time. Contrast to the relative calm and color of the American landscape and things become more clear. Life does have a way of trying to show and teach us. The differences in myself thus became clear; distinct.

There is a certain calmness of the soul when one knows death is at your door. At first you fight it and want to control it. You are angry and confused and wish to be left alone. Soon acceptance comes and in a way you begin a dance with death. There are different types of death. Each of us goes through many “deaths” in our life time, we often don’t recognize them as such. The “death” of childhood, singleness, innocence and the list would go on. In each of these “deaths” there is indeed a “resurrection” of something new in us. Each season in our life comes and goes and is replaced by a more experienced season. My second season in Iraq has now died and led me to a resurrected life with more experience.

We prepare in many parts of the world to celebrate the birth of the Christ child, or in which we give honor and remembrance of events that have led us to this season in the world. For each celebration of birth we must recognize the death that provides the opportunity for birth or re-birth. Not only should we recognize that death, but we should celebrate it as it conceives new life...and hope.

There is much in the world that lies beyond our control. This should not leave us powerless. It should transform us in thought and in how we view ourselves, others and the world. The control we do have is how we view things. Each death we experience allows us to see more clearly our place and what we can do to make a difference in our world, one moment at a time. Our perspective is broadened.

For everything and everyone there is a season. It comes regardless. We can accept these seasons, these changes...these deaths and learn to dance with them or be angry and sit on the side. I’ve done both and I am choosing to dance.

May this season show you the blessings in your life and the lives of those you love.

Blessings and Peace.

Robert

Thankful

I've returned to the US with a few stops in route. I return with a much calmer heart this time. The world remains in turmoil. Ignorance and avoidance of poverty and suffering have existed long before I was born into this world and both will most likely continue. There are some things you can change, but many more than you are not able to. Yet I am hopeful for the world. I am hopeful because I believe I have come to understand myself in relation to the world.

Each of us has challenges we must face or allow to consume us. We each have the capacity to move forward and learn and love and be happy. These are choices we have; choices that we can control.

Today I am thankful for the person I am. I am thankful for those with whom I share my life and love. Life does not require much of us. It asks only that we move forward and leave our home earth better than we found it. It asks us to be joyful in our lives and joyfully touch the lives of others. Namaste I say to you! I will seek to always discover not only the sacred in you, but the joy.

Robert

Returning....

These are the friends I hang out with in Germany and in Dallas. They are not all of my friends, but they tend to be those I do the most with. I'm looking forward to seeing and spending time with them. And of course, getting back to my "boy" Remington, by soon to be four year old Weimeraner!


Troy, Alberto, me, Vincenzo and Joachim


Billy, Burt, Jim, Armando and Cliff


Remington!

Men and their Machines

Marines back from patrol or convoy.


E.O.D. Truck (Explosive Ordiance Device). My favorite!


Me in front of an IED tractor detector between a Baby and Daddy Buffalo!

Pics on and around Liberty

One of the new vehicles used to patrol in Iraq. It is called the BUFFALO.



PX Parking lot, 3 Humvee's waiting for their soldiers to return from shopping in the PX.


Sunset at Lake Liberty...you can find beauty even here!

Pics from Liberty

Here are some pics from places and things I've seen since I've been here. I hope you enjoy.



Returning from getting Pizza and shopping at the PX (see the fishing pole!)


STOP! for all tanks....


The end of the day at Camp Liberty.

Falcon or Phoenix

Last Tuesday night and Wednesday morning was a bit scary. It was about 10:30 pm when I was waken by a thunderous sound that shook my trailer. A mortar round I thought to myself. Seconds later another "BOOM!", much closer...then another...and another....I counted 15 BOOMS before I could not count fast enough. Fear ran through my body. My mind was racing, thinking, knowing that it has finally happened, they've run the gate and they are coming through. That is what it felt like. I finally had enough nerve to open my door to see what I could see. It is almost midnight. There is a big glow in the distant sky south of us. More BOOMS! It is hard to tell where it is. It looks like it is coming from the Slayer gate. This gate is right off Road Irish that runs from Baghdad International Airport into central Baghdad. I'm nervous and imagining the worst. I can't sleep and turn on the TV to see if any of the US news agencies have anything. FOX news is reporting that the ammo depot at Falcon is exploding. It is 1:30 a.m. I'm relieved in one way and concerned about the folks at Falcon. We do have a PX there and the Team Leader was at Liberty Tuesday morning talking to us before she returned to Falcon. I know she is there and I pray that her and everyone else at Falcon are safe.

The next day all talk was about explosions that night. We confirm no one was injured but there is quite a bit of damage to several buildings. We often speak of complacency in the war zone. We get used to hearing the mortars come in and the machine guns ratatatatting just outside the walls of Liberty. We begin to ignore the "BIG VOICE" when it sounds because the reality is you cannot understand a word that is being broadcast. We leave our flak jackets and Kevlar helmets in our rooms, we get upset when the guards at the DFAC or Gym change their routine and we have to be searched. We get comfortable and forget that a raging war is just outside the relative safety of these brick walls. We have to wait for an incident like that at Falcon to wake us from our complacency, if only for a day.

It is an interesting view of how some of us live life. We go through our days, weeks, months and years shutting out the chaos that surrounds us. If we focused on the chaos we would become overwhelmed and depressed at the state of our city, states, country and world. Our survival, mental and emotional, often depend on our ability to shut out the madness and focus on our small piece of life. We feel if we can control that small piece we can survive. Our struggle is to maintain that balance and take small steps forward if we can. We are not always successful and our house of cards can come crashing down around us. The balance is lost for a time. Resiliency is ours though, and we fight to gain back the balance.

During my time in Iraq this year, much of what I have experienced and felt has been somber if not downright depressing. It is different from last year when despite the war, I found many positive things, especially within my self. It is not that there have not been positive insights or experiences this year. It has just been different. It is in that difference I am discovering the jewel in the rough. It took the fire at Falcon for me to understand that discovery and see the jewel through the smoke and fire. It is the rebirth of the Phoenix through fire. This symbolism is significant, as it is fire through which we are tested and made stronger. It is the gathering up of our ashes and understanding that there is nowhere to go but up and forward. We each have trials and tribulations, our fires, that we must go through. Yet there is a renewing spirit in the ashes of our fire experience. Many of us come out understanding what is truly important in our lives. Similar to the great Japanese Swords of the 13th century, we come out with layers of experience that are hammered and heated into a tool that prepares us to defend ourselves, but with a heart that knows we are connected to each other and offers those layers of experience to help others learn their way. It gives us an opportunity to offer hope for those who have yet to experience the rebirthing power of their own Phoenix.

Life brings us many things. Each of those things is an opportunity for us to gather information and form it into a tool that we can use. I wonder what kind of tool will be formed from my life experiences. More importantly I wonder how I will use that tool.

The Legend of the Phoenix
The bird proudly willing to burn,
So that he may live again,
Chooses the flames of fires
That burn the aged Phoenix
The nature stands still
Till a new young bird starts again,
and begins the legend of the Phoenix.

- Claudian (Roman author)

Japanese Sword Making: (from Victorian.fortunecity.com)

"...to produce their best blades the Japanese sword makers used a much more intricate process. For the core, or interior, of the blade, they used a comparatively soft, laminated metal that would resist breaking. The blade's exterior and edge, however, were made of different grades of hard steel welded together in a sandwich that was folded and hammered out as many as 20 times or more, giving it more than a million laminations! This outer "skin" of steel could be made even harder by first heating the sword and then suddenly cooling it. As a final step the master swordsmith would cover the roughly finished blade with a thick layer of adhesive material, mostly clay, leaving only the edge exposed, and heat the blade until the glowing metal reached the right shade of color. The best way to judge this crucially delicate stage was to work in a darkened room. Then with prayer, the sword maker would plunge the heated blade into water. The exposed edge cooled instantly while the rest of the blade, protected by the clay, cooled slowly and remained comparatively soft. The final result was a sword blade of soft non-brittle metal enclosed in a thin layer of hard steel. About one fifth of an inch of its edge was made of metal so hard that it held a razor sharpness during repeated use in battle. "


We choose to make our experiences tools or weapons. Which do you choose?

Robert

A Soldier....

Here is a picture I found that was taken earlier this year. A few of us were walking to the DFAC when we stopped to talk to this soldier. He was staying with his vehicle while his buddies were in the PX shopping. He is a 19 year old from Guam. We stayed talking for sometime. He told us that he was not doing what he was trained to do. He is a refueler and works vehicle maintenance. But they need everyone out on patrols. The Striker vehicle he rides in had been hit three times with him in the Turret. He said it is scary as hell, but you just keep going and keep praying. He's hoping to go to college after he finishes his tour. He wants to go back and live in Guam. I hope he survives this war and is able to do all the things he wants.

As we left he said, "Thanks for being here, we really do appreciate it". Those words from a soldier, especially this one, bring on a surge of emotion. It is why we are here.

Robert

QBLOG #46 Seeing is Believing

Through the avalanche of news stories surrounding world events, elections, sports and negative news in general, a ray of light peeked through. It was the Amish community's response to the murder of several young girls in their community. Instead of reacting in anger and condemnation, they acted with forgiveness and compassion. Though this terrible act struck at the core of what we and they treasure most, our children, they did the thing that most of us wish we could do. They forgave the perpetrator and had compassion for the wife and children left behind. They asked that a fund be set up for his family.

I can't help but wonder what things would be like if we had expressed more of that behaviour as a nation. There is a lesson to be learned. One that has been taught over and over again throughout the centuries. Anger begets anger. War begets war. Forgiveness, though often times seen as weak, is often the most difficult thing to do. It does not have the emotional burst or display of anger. It does not cause a stirring in the stomach of vengence and all the hyperbole that surrounds that. Instead it is quiet, painful and in the end results in a healing power and energy.

Forgiveness does not mean that you are not angry. It does not mean that you don't want to strike out and hurt those that hurt you. It does mean that it takes much more courage and forthrightness to come to terms with the anger and move beyond the base instinct of vengence and uphold ourselves to a higher standard. It is not easy. It is powerful and this Amish community has shown the world the incredible power of forgiveness. Seeing is believing...but even more than this, they believe in forgiveness and practice it. We could all learn a lessong from this simple, powerful act.

Robert