Q-BLOG #28

Safety Net

Last Blog I wrote about Empty spaces and how I felt we needed to make some in our lives. A friend of mine, Marianne, wrote me and told me that she felt there was no such thing as an empty space. That every space was filled with something and we only needed to choose what that something was and place it or replace it.

It made me think about what was in ‘empty space’. My thoughts were with my as I strolled around Liberty Lake. During that walk I took in what most would consider ‘empty space’. On closer inspection, this space was actually filled. It was overflowing with things that often go unnoticed, maybe unappreciated, or even forgotten. Maybe these things were so much a part of me already that I did not recognize them as something outside or separate from myself.

I’ve written several Blogs and have mentioned several friends and family in them. And as I re-read those Blogs I realized that there were empty spaces. But they weren’t empty. They were filled with friends and family who were there, hidden in the letters of every word. They were the apostrophes and commas, the periods and the question marks. They were and are in fact the background for all that I’ve written. These ‘spaces’ are my safety net. People who are a part of my life in a way that is not always bold or exciting, yet they are always there. They are there when you return after being away for 6 years or 10 months and insure you have something to do on a Friday night or help you paint your house or fix your plumbing. They are there to clean and sell your house after a break up and you are out of the country. They make you or invite you to breakfast or lunch or dinner just to visit. They are there to watch your dog or your house or your car; to hold you when the world seems to be falling around you, to help you build a deck or go out with you to cycle, run, climb or jump out of a plane. They are there to hear your sad or happy story for the 100th time. They are there to bring you a bottle of wine and a card that say’s “you are special and loved and blessed” and at the moment you don’t feel like you are any of that. They are the people who let you dance your heart away while they talk to and keep your date company and assure him that its ok, and I just really like to dance. These exclamation points and commas help you challenge yourself to new adventures and give you nick names and want you to preside over their wedding. When you forget their birthday, anniversary or other celebration, they forgive you and love you anyway. They are the people whose homes you go into and open the refrigerator door and help yourself. The phone rings or a letter comes after you have been thinking about them or they light a candle for you, say prayers for you and continue to be part of that space that is not empty, but filled with love and hope and dreams.

These are the people who are such a part of my life…and your life, that you don’t even think to mention them, because your voice and words, are indeed their voice and their words. I understand what Marianne means about the empty space not being empty. It is an invisible net filled with people that are part of your life, that are part of my life.

The movie, “About the Boy” is about discovering that family is really more than blood. We create families outside of our blood families. We form our safety net and become part of a safety net, though it may not be for the same people that are part of our net. It does not need to be. It is not always exciting or glamorous or funny. It is rewarding and fulfilling, challenging and hard work. It is part of who and what you are and become.

I have always enjoyed and been privileged to be friends with a diverse group of individuals who have challenged my ways of thinking, of acting and being. I look at them today and see that I am indeed a reflection of the collective. Each of my friends and family has contributed to who I am today. I am indeed blessed to call them friends and family.

Take a moment and think about the people who create the letters for your words and the voice for your heart. The people who challenge you, cheer for you and support you. Those who hold you, comfort you, cry with you and laugh with you. They are in those ‘empty spaces’, the background, the safety net that allows you to go out on the tightrope of life and swing and jump and live. Because you know if you fall, they will be there. And if you make it big…they will be there. And if you just make it across life struggling, trying to balance it all out…they are there.


Blessings and Peace…and Safety nets and Empty Spaces

Robert