Q-BLOG #23 Finding a Gracious Heart

This was originally written as part of my 1st series of Blogs from Iraq. The original date is 07 Oct 2005. I now post it to this Blog site. Robert


As I move closer to leaving, I find myself thinking about how much I will miss being in Iraq. Everyday I am reminded of what grace is. I find it and see it in the people I encounter and with whom I interact . They are simple things really. I walk into the PX and am instantly greeted with smiles, a hello, a handshake and hand to the heart, an embrace or a gentle holding of my arm and hand so I don’t rush off. Or the offers to assist me in “fixing” my bad back or questioning if indeed I am better. There have been invitations to homes that are as far away as mine. I have no doubt these invitations and concern are genuine.

Today at lunch we had a young soldier sit next to us in the dining hall. Catherine, who is the General Manager for the Baghdad area and is also known as ‘Mama Jones’, noticed that this soldier needed a little of our attention. He had is head in his hands and seemed quite alone. Catherine spoke to him and asked him where he was from. We conversed with him a while longer. Before the conversation ended, this young man had Catherine and I on the verge of tears. Why? Because he wanted to thank us for being here and bringing what he thought was a little bit of home. He said, ‘I know this isn’t much coming from someone like me, but I want to thank you for being here. It makes life just a little bit easier knowing what I can get at the PX.’

As we held back our tears, we told him that it actually meant more to us coming from him. He is the reason we are here. He and all the other Soldiers, Marines, Seamen and Airmen, are the reason we are here. It is the reason we exist as a company.

Being here in Iraq and finding… no, discovering this gracious heart and those of our employees from Iraq, the US and other countries, has given me faith in humanity and renewed my belief in what the AAFES mission is. There is nothing more important than being here, body, mind and spirit, for these men and women…our customers.

Finding a gracious heart is often about allowing oneself to receive the gifts that others offer. This reminds me of an incident several years ago where I decided to pick up the tab for a lunch I was invited to. I was scolded afterward by the person I was dating. He told me that receiving a gift was as important as giving a gift. What I had done in picking up this tab from someone who had invited us to lunch, was to take away their joy of giving. I had never even thought about it this way. I wondered how many times through the years I had basically taken the joy of giving from someone else.

Every day I am learning about receiving the gift of people; their love, their joy, their compassion. For much of my life I’ve been independent. To receive any gift, not just material gifts, but gifts of love and offers for help, has not been easy. Much has changed in me for I am no longer the same. I am learning to accept gifts and have found a humbleness in that act. It is opening my heart and my soul. The brick wall I have built is beginning to come down. It is frightening and exciting at the same time.

Iraq, this mystical land of old, is re-teaching me lessons and showing me what a gracious heart is and how to identify it even through the walls I have created. Invitations are not only gifts to enter another’s space, but a gift to open your heart to being humble and gracious.

May you learn to receive the gifts that are offered and find great joy in the gift of giving to others. Both are blessings and both can leave you with abundance in your heart.

Blessings and peace. Choose love not fear.

Robert