Q-BLOG #17 Silent Storm

This morning I woke up, got ready to go to the gym and walked outside to find myself in a fog of dust. It covered everything! I could not see 5 feet in front of me. I began to cough. My eyes began to burn. There was little to no wind and yet this was unmistakably a dust storm. It was a silent storm. A silent storm.

In so many ways that is how I feel deep inside. A storm building up inside me, silently, creeping to the surface until it encompases every part of my being....like this dust. This fog of dirt. For so many years I was able to keep in touch with my soul. To check with it. To talk to it, even to be one with it. I would call it the little whisper...that inner voice. There was a time in my life when I listened to it faithfully. I heard it's call. And then somehow, I quit listening. Maybe I just ignored it. Maybe I was too distracted. I don’t recall, but I do know I’ve heard it again recently. Just a whisper. A fog creeping back into by consciousness. That Little Voice.


That Little Voice...

I met a man
who reminded me
of the person I used to be...

I saw him
in a reflection
as I ran in the opposite direction.

He spoke so quietly,
whispering...
the secrects of my memory.

"Remember when
you took the time
to listen to the little voice inside?"

"Busy you are,
many tasks left undone
but the greatest moments now are gone"

"Your tears you see...
are reminders of...
the person you still yearn to be...Don't deny
the gifts from within
or the ones that are yet to be given"

I paused
for a moment...
only to find a tear from heart in torment.

It filled a pool
of wanting and yearning,
of time passed by and of the lost learning...

The moment came and went
and my yearning grew...
And finally...it was spent.

The man I met-
was only me...
from the depth of my soul that yearns to be.

Robert L. Quintana


And so this dust storm silently takes me on a journey I've taken before. A journey to that inner part of me; that little voice that whispers, “I’m here, pay attention to me”. I've so long neglected listening. I've been too busy. Too occupied with achieving success, status, possessions--things that the world screamed at me and told me I needed to be happy. But not that little voice. No, it stayed inside building a quiet storm. Slowly enveloping me, preparing me to escape...in a mist of dust from the screaming world. That whisper is becoming louder within me. It's been ignored too long. I'm too tired to fight it. I just want to be. I just want to be me...whatever that me is. Not the me the world wants me to be. Not the me I think the world wants me to be. I just want to be me. I want to be free to be me. Not a pretend macho, worldy me. Just Me...from the depth of my soul.


It's A Long Way Down

It's a long way
down to my soul-

A long way down
to the part of me...
I cannot seem to see-

Is it only me
who cannot see
the good that I am told I am?

Is it only me
who cannot see
the me that others seem to see?

It's along way down
from where I am
to who the me is that people say they see.

It's a long way down...
Will I ever
see or find that person that I hear I am?

It's a long way down....



Have you listened to your little voice? What does it tell you? Do people already see the you that you are meant to be? Your friends see. You can't hide it from people who love you. Don't hide it from you. Be who you are meant to be. The world does not know better than that little voice. No matter what people say or think, or how they act.

Just be.

May the good in me search and find the good in you.

Choose Love not hate.
Peace be with you.
Robert