Q-BLOG #2

My second in a series…of Q-Blogs. What are Q-Blogs? My friend Julia Wertley-Rotenberry came up with the idea. She thought I ought to title my updates as something other than updates. “Q” is what she named me on a trip to Italy we took. The name stuck and so I’m “Q” to all who were on that trip. So now you have Q-Blogs.

It’s 6:00 am Baghdad time. Saturday, January 22, 2005. It’s raining outside. You can hear the rain hit the tin roof of our office. I close my eyes and I take a small trip. A fantasy vacation. Not away from this place, but to a different time. Maybe it is a different dimension, because there is peace in the world. There is peace in my heart.

I’d like to share something that was sent to me prior to my leaving Dallas. I read it there and knew I needed to print it and take it with me. It is the Lord’s Prayer, translated from it’s original Aramaic. I received this from interfaithdfw@aol.com. This is the DFW Interfaith Network, an organization I was once involved with and hope to be again in the future. Thank you Tom Cartwright for re-connecting me with them this year.

THE LORD’S PRAYER, Translated from it’s original Aramaic.

“Oh Cosmic Birther (sp?) of all radiance and vibration!
Soften the ground of our being and carve out a space within us,
…where your presence can abide.

Fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered
…to bear the fruit of our mission.

Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desire.

Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being needs
…to grow and flourish.

Unite the tangled threads of destiny that bind us,
…as we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.

Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose,
…but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.

For you are the ground and the fruitful vision,
…the birth power and the fulfillment,
…as all is gathered and made whole once again.


I begin this way in order that I might have some peace and calm. It’s been a very trying week. I’ve been very angry this week. I have written and re-written several updates, but each was filled with my anger. The war. The inauguration. So many other things that are out of my control. As I re-read my anger on the page (several times I might add) I began to realize that my anger was nothing more than fear. So I’m trying to let that go.

We have a staff meeting here every other day. It is needed. We go around the table and provide an update of what’s going on in each of our areas. There are personnel issues, logisitics issues, services issues, buying issues. Then Major Accetta gives his report. He talks about the number of mortars that have hit. The number of IED’s that went off or were found, car bombs, the number of civilian, military and Iraqi casualties. The room becomes very somber. Perspective sets in and you realize, as my good friend Mat Dromey says, “It’s just merchandise”. Which leads me to the question below. I’d like each of you to take a moment and find your answer on the list.

How much is a human life worth?
$8.00 a day ?
A truck load of retail merchandise (value, $8-80,000) ?
A pallet of dog food ($1200) ?
A War ?
A new fast food operation opening.?
A new PC compatible projector ?
Closing the stores in Iraq for 3 days?

Why these questions? Each of them has to do with something we here in Iraq have had to answer to Dallas or Europe as to why we either did not have something completed, or why something was going to happen. Or why we are even here (d). My answer is not on the list.

One of our people, trying to do his job, was pushing to get a trailer of potato chips on a military convey to get to some of the Marine sites north of Baghdad. This was important to AAFES. Chips have a short shelf life and by god, those Marines deserve to have potato chips. That is our mission! The military commander in charge responded with the question, “ Is the life of one soldier worth that truck of potato chips?”

We as human beings get insulated from what is truly going on in the world. We focus on what is before our eyes and can see no more. We tune everything else out. I know this. This is my second week here. At 4:00am every morning the tanks RUMBLE by and the Blackhawks fly over my quarters. You hear the Humvee’s gurgling by. The morning patrol. I don’t hear them anymore. I heard them this morning because of the rain. I had not yet heard rain hit my roof. The rain woke me. Then came the tanks and the blackhawks and the humvees. It was the gentle patter of rain that woke me.

And so I got up and put my anger aside. Put my fear aside and let the rain gently calm me. The Lord’s prayer came to mind. I knew that is how I would begin. Calm. In prayer. Not focused on a task, but focused on the world to complete my task. Not the world, AMERICA, but the WORLD. The planet. EARTH. And Me. I cannot do anything right, unless I am right with myself. I encourage you to read a journal entry from a friend of mine, Steve Reedy. I’ve not known Steve long, but I find him to be an incredible spirit. His website is: http://www.renewed-spirit.com/main.htm . His journal is something I have wanted to read, but never took the time. I printed it and read it this week. There is a reason his web site is “renewed-spirit”.

The journey continues both inside and outside of myself. Yes, we have mortars coming in every day. You hear Blackhawks, Howitzers, Tanks, Humvee’s and all sorts of other vehicles. You tune a lot of it out. Yesterday was a bit more disturbing. I was holding a meeting with my team and we were continually interrupted by huge bursts of mortar’s and then the KABAM of the Howitzers. One right after the other. BOOM! BOOM! KABAM! KABAM! KABAM! BOOM! The trailer shook. I tried to act like nothing was happening, but I found myself on the verge of tears and laughter. It was such an unreal situation. You really cannot imagine. I wrote this poem.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Sounds after the mortars fly,
KABAM! KABAM! KABAM! woo! woo! woo!
Is the Howitzer’s reply.
Shake, Rattle, Roll,
Be like a turtle, cover, duck and roll!
Suddenly the Blackhawks are in the sky,
And the Fire Engines sirens cry.
Life is normal here at Camp Liberty.
Where all the soldiers are just beyond puberty.
I’ve been here a week,
But it feels like a year
Maybe it because,
We can have no beer!
No beer, no porn, no drugs!
It’s the new health care plug!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
KABAM! KABAM! KABAM! woo! woo! woo!
Siren’s and lights and shopping abound.

It’s jut another day at Camp Liberty.

I bring this Blog to a close with a song I recently listened to from an Artist I had not heard in a long time. Synchronicity is beginning to happen in my life again. Maybe I am only more aware of it now. This is the Human Spark, written by Michael W. Smith.

“God, for the life of me/ I don’t know why/ We hurt each other/ In the name of what is right/ Oh what we think is right/ God, for the life of me/ I don’t understand/ Echos every day of man’s/ Inhumanity to man/ Man’s inhumanity to man/ There’s a river of sorrow/ Running thru my heart/ Thru the long night I will follow/ The glimmer in the dark/ Lord, You are the human spark/ God, for the life of me/ I cannot explain/ How people born of love/ Lose their way to hate/ Oh there’s got to be a better way.”

Be a SPARK in someone’s life today. There is a whole lot of darkness out there, so help light someone’s way, even if it is just for a day.

Blessings to each of you. Remember, choose Love not Fear. Renew your spirit and take a moment of silence for yourself.

Love,
Robert