Q-BLOG ONE, Arrival in Iraq

I spent about a week at Ft. Bliss in El Paso, TX going through a sort of orientation. After that, I was one of the first to fly out to Kuwait, with a lay over in New York and one in Ireland. Kuwait was a very good experience for the 36 hours I was there. The flight into Iraq from Kuwait was with the British Royal Air Force. I heard about the maneuvers that are performed when landing in Iraq at the Baghdad Airport. The Brits did not disappoint! It was like a roller coaster ride! I think I was really too tired to get very excited about it. I woke when we dropped several hundred feet in a few seconds and then took a sharp turn and flattened out. This was on the Brit version of a C-130 Cargo plane. They are the planes that have net seating along the side of the plane as well as down the middle and with the pallets of cargo in the rear of the aircraft. We did wear our armored vests and helmets during the trip. I now know what an extra 40 or 50 pounds feels like to lug around!

The airport building was no where to be seen. The first thing I did see as we deplaned and moved onto the flight line was a camo covered AAFES P/X! WE really do go where the military goes! The next exciting part of the journey was riding from the airstrip to my new home and work place, Victory North. This is a few Kilometers outside of central Baghdad. The AAFES couriers that picked us up must have gone through the briefings we had at Bliss. Once you hit the highway, you just GO! I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this kind of driving, not in Korea, not in Japan, not in Germany, not in Kosovo, not even in Italy! If there is a slow moving vehicle in front of you, you pass anyway you can and you do it quickly….especially if the vehicle is not an army vehicle. I’m sure that if we had a flat or any other distraction, the drivers would have just hit the gas and gone until they couldn’t go any further...or we reached our destination. Thankfully, we reached our destination safe and sound.

Once I arrived, I was taken around and given the keys to my new home. Basically it is a small trailer divided in two, with a bathroom in the middle. I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a bathroom that I can share. Many others have no bathroom in their trailer and must walk outside to a communal bathroom and shower. Grant it, conditions are 100% better than they once were. We have trailers instead of tents. I remember in Kosovo, it was winter, and we only had tents for sleeping and showering. Dirt floors, mud to your knees outside, and the showers were far, far away from where you bunked. I am happy and pleased with what I have been provided in Iraq.

I heard much about the mortars that I might experience. The “might” was reality my first night. About 12:30 I woke to a sound not quite familiar to me. It was not the gunshots I would sometimes hear in Dallas, but much bigger and not as sharp. Sort of like a boulder being dropped. I woke up, a couple more came in and, well, frankly, I didn’t give a damn. I figured that the craziness I experienced this past year at work in Dallas…the day to day drain on my emotions and soul, feeling like I was literally having my life sucked out of me, was a greater threat to my well being than a few mortars. After all, if for some reason one hit me or near me, I felt I could much more easily deal with the physical pain or even death, than being a living organism with no life. Yes, it is that bad. Apparently return fire began around 4:30 or 5:00. The Howitzer’s are just behind my living quarters. Boy, could you feel the impact of those puppies! I hope I'll be able to tell the difference between and incoming mortar and an outgoing round from a Howitzer!

Today another mortar hit inside the compound and the BlackHawks seemed to start patrolling the perimeter the rest of the day. And yet, I feel much more calm and safe here in Iraq. There is dust everywhere and on everything, and yet it doesn’t bother me. The people I work with are great people and have made me feel right at home. I feel needed and wanted and even appreciated here at work. I think we all want to feel that from our jobs, don’t we?

I’ve written in my journal every day. It is something I have not done in years. I’m discovering a lot about myself. Maybe I should say I’m rediscovering a lot about myself. It scares me. It makes me sad, and yet it is something that I have needed to do. I have rediscovered the joy of thinking. Thinking about the world, about my place in it. About what I contribute and what I destroy on this earth, almost absentmindedly. I have found the way I am feeling is often or can often be a reflection of the world in which I live.

I don’t believe it is a coincidence how I feel/felt at work in someway reflected and reflects what the country and world are experiencing. It seems no one truly appreciates my contributions or the contributions of others. It seems that I am not listening to the voices of my past as they yell for my attention. I am not listening to my inner voice that continues to warn me to make a change. Instead I go forward with an agenda that everyone else can see is wrong, but I refuse to. If you change the "I" to a plural "we/our", see how this indeed may be what you and even the country or world as a whole is experiencing.

That is it for now. I may share my journal entry at a later time. It is a bit revealing, but I’m trying to get over the fear of letting people know who I am, good and bad.

I pray that each of you is listening to your inner voice and you find the courage to follow the advise it gives. Always remember, do things out of Love, not out of fear. This I believe will be my new motto!

Blessings and Love,

Robert